Organization / institution
Hassimir Council
Also: Hassimir council
The premier Rumpish governing body since 500 CP, when it took over government from the IGRSE; it awards (and defrocks) the Rump Factor.
Hassimir Council, the governing body which awards (and defrocks) Rumpish peoples of their Rump Factor (RF). Founded in 500 CP by Mayor Davos Hassimir after The Destruction of Chickenheim and The Fall of Chickendom.
The Hassimir council only once awarded a RF to a non-Rumpish person (NRP), this was Professor Zanzibar, who was given an honorary RF by Lieutenant Gorginmeijer Borgleaus. Borgleaus was called before the council, reprimanded, and the practice was thereafter discontinued. Zanzibar was stripped of his RF only after his association and meddling in Chicken affairs was discovered. Zanzibar's was only ever an honorary score, held by no other non-feline. The only non-Rump to hold a true Rump Factor is a Non-Rumpish Feline, the Earth Cat Mersenne Prime, at 0.6.
Founding§
For more than eleven thousand years the Rumps had been governed, in effect, by the IGRSE, their first and greatest institution, where standing was a matter of wealth. The Peace that followed The Destruction of Chickenheim asked more of them: a subject people to rule, and a growing military to order. When Arch Duke Quillis Cromwell besieged the IGRSE in 327 CP and carried off over 32 trillion seeds of corn, the exchange's fitness to govern was plainly in doubt.
In 500 CP Mayor Davos Hassimir founded the Council, and government passed to it. Its instrument was the Rump Factor, a measure of military merit rather than of wealth. On its founding the Council scored the Rumps of its day; to Torumund Borgin it gave 9, the highest. From then on it scored every Rump at birth, and sent those of 5 or more into the military's keeping for 999 years of training; the first class graduated around 1500 CP. Only Chæmbo, The Barbarian, was never scored. The IGRSE carried on as the economic engine of the Rumps, and the Council became, as it remains, the premier Rumpish governing body.
Among its first offerings, fittingly, was Cromwell himself. Some time after 500 CP, Captain Torumund Borgin had him slaughtered, deep fried, and served to the Council.
Other mentions§
Arch Duke Quillis Cromwell was later slaughtered and served (deep fried in Corn oil with red wine) to the Hassimir Council by Captain Torumund Borgin (Now General).
The Hassimir council has formally censured Chickenstein’s work as “Chicken-magic” with “no academic or scientific value.”
The Hassimir council has been known to demand verbatim recitations of certain sections of the Taxonomy of Cheeks during RF promotion interviews (see Cheeks).