Person
Marcus Aurelius Chamberlain Bentworthe
Also: Bentworthe
A very large, gluttonous, and thoroughly gentlemanly Englishman; measured the magnetic field of Neith by Sneek Tidal Interference in Prague in 1762, and drew the Drawings of Neith.
Marcus Aurelius Chamberlain Bentworthe was an English gentleman of the most respectable kind, and a very large one. His appetite was famous and his manners were faultless: he was gluttonous without ever being coarse, and courteous to everyone. He delighted in good food above almost everything, in delicacies of every sort, and in whatever was finest of its kind.
His tastes left their mark on his science. It was a trace of butter triscuits, among his favorite delicacies, that proved him the author of the Drawings of Neith, and his fiercest critic told him to attend to his mince pies.
Marcus Aurelius Chamberlain Bentworthe, while in Prague in 1762, succeeded in using the novel method of Sneek Tidal Interference (STI) to indirectly measure the magnetic field of Neith; yielding B = (1.2 ± 0.3) Gauss, a value roughly twice as large as the magnetic field of Earth. Shockingly, Bentworthe's STI method measured a non-zero, negative divergence of the Neithan magnetic field; leading Bentworthe to suggest that sneek-cheek conjugate parity invariance could permit the harmonic generation of magnetic monopoles via parametric down conversion during weekly coupled interactions between atomic sneeks in the outer atmosphere of Neith.
Later, in 1804, Professor Andaulphus Berilibus Zaxamite demonstrated that Bentworthe's proposed process for magnetic monopole generation violated the 4th principle of Monkey Mechanics, and was ipso facto physically impossible. Zaxamite harshly criticized Bentworthe for this mistake, even going so far as to calling him, "a doting old dilettante who would be better served attending to his mince pies rather than dabbling in the subtle field of natural philosophy.".
The Drawings of Neith§
Drawings of Neith - First attributed to Francesco Fontana, and later discovered to be the work of Marcus Aurelius Chamberlain Bentworthe. Researchers disputed this fact for many years, but upon finding traces of butter triscuits on the parchment (one of Bentworthe’s favorite delicacies) they came to the conclusion that the drawing was in fact the work of Bentworthe.
Other mentions§
Bentworthe appears repeatedly in the table of sightings, from London in 1686 to Glastonbury in 1777, including 83 sightings in Berkshire in 1761 and an indirect observation in Prague in 1762. Chickenstein is said to have met William Herschel and Marcus Aurelius Chamberlain Bentworthe on multiple occasion. Fortitus Fallomas is described by Bentworthe, in 1747 AD, as "The savior of Duckishness in the West".
The Cheeknomicron§
During The Fall of Neith, Chief Kwimpala cast the Cheeknomicron toward Earth in a capsule, to keep it from the Rumps. It was Bentworthe who recovered the capsule, and he kept it secret.